Come, listen to a satirical tale, one which will hopefully help you in thinking through the theology of John Calvin. This prolific teaching in today's churches instructs that man is not the true determiner of anything, rather God has in eternity past determined all things even our evil desires and resultant "free" will choices. Rebranded as "Doctrines of Grace" and "Reformed Theology" Calvinism still taints our churches as it has since the days of Calvin.